Lesson 1.1 – Understanding Powerlessness

Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over addiction—that our lives had become unmanageable.

As family members, we often feel responsible to fix or manage the person we love who is struggling with addiction. We may try pleading, threatening, rescuing, or tightly controlling. Despite our efforts, the addiction continues—and so does our exhaustion.

Step 1 is not giving up on our loved one; it is giving up the illusion that we can control their addiction. Only God can truly heal and restore. We begin by admitting our limits and shifting our focus to what we can actually steward: our responses, boundaries, and walk with God.

What Powerlessness Is (and Is Not)

• Powerlessness is admitting we cannot make someone stop using.
• Powerlessness is recognizing our attempts to control often create more chaos.
• Powerlessness is not apathy or abandonment.
• Powerlessness is not having no choices; we still own our actions and boundaries.

Lesson 1.2 – The Family Cycle of Control

Addiction pulls the entire family into a cycle of hope, fear, control, disappointment, and crisis. Over time, everyone feels like they’re living on an emotional rollercoaster.

Common Patterns

• Rescuing: Covering up consequences, paying debts, making excuses.
• Monitoring: Constantly checking phones, locations, or contacts.
• Walking on eggshells: Avoiding topics to keep the peace.
• Blaming: Pointing fingers at one person or oneself.
• Isolation: Pulling away from church, friends, or community.

These responses are often rooted in love and fear, but they keep everyone stuck. Awareness is the first step toward change.

Lesson 1.3 – What We Can and Cannot Control

Step 1 helps us sort what belongs to God, what belongs to our loved one, and what belongs to us.

Three Circles

• God’s circle: Healing, conviction, heart change, outcomes.
• Their circle: Choices, honesty, participation in recovery.
• Your circle: Boundaries, responses, attitudes, self‑care, prayer.

Freedom grows when we stay in our circle and entrust the rest to God.

Lesson 2.1 – Moving From Despair to Hope

Step 2: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

After repeated disappointments, many families quietly stop believing change is possible. Step 2 invites us to shift our hope from the addict’s behavior to God’s character—His faithfulness, power, and heart for restoration.

“Sanity” in Family Recovery

• Clear thinking instead of confusion.
• Emotional steadiness instead of constant crisis.
• Healthy boundaries instead of chaos.
• Faith‑filled surrender instead of fear‑driven control.

Lesson 2.2 – God’s Role in Family Restoration

We are not designed to be the savior, healer, and constant source of strength for everyone. That role belongs to God. Letting God be God means releasing outcomes to Him and trusting that He is already at work, even when things still look messy.

• He is present: God has not abandoned your family.
• He is patient: He is not in a hurry, but always working.
• He is powerful: No addiction or wound is beyond His reach.
• He is gentle: He cares deeply about your pain.

Lesson 2.3 – Rebuilding Emotional Safety

Addiction creates fear, unpredictability, and emotional pain. Before relationships can fully heal, families need emotional safety: a space where feelings can be shared without mockery, dismissal, or attack.

Building Emotional Safety

• Listening to understand, not just to respond.
• Speaking truth kindly.
• Respecting boundaries.
• Choosing a gentle tone, even in hard conversations.

Lesson 3.1 – What Surrender Really Means

Step 3: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God.

Summarize: surrender = trusting God more than our control; not passivity, but active trust.

Lesson 3.2 – Releasing Control as a Family

Summarize: how control shows up; choosing shared surrender and prayerful decisions.

Lesson 3.3 – Aligning With God’s Plan

Summarize: signs of alignment with God’s will; boundaries, obedience, peace.