This simple instruction is the ultimate roadmap for navigating our relationships, especially when we are trying to fix what we broke. When we are paralyzed, wondering how to fix a relationship or make an amends, we just have to ask ourselves one question: “If I were in their shoes, what would I need?”
If you were them, would you need an honest apology without excuses? Would you need to see changed behavior over time rather than just hearing pretty words? Would you simply need to be left alone because the wound is too fresh?
Our personal amends exist to restore unity in our fractured relationships. We treat people with the respect and empathy we desire for ourselves. We don’t make amends to manipulate a specific reaction or to force them to forgive us; we do it because it is the right way to live. Empathy is the guide that keeps us from causing more harm while trying to do good. It takes the focus off our relief and puts it on their healing.
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